The Official Alien Abductee's Handbook by Joe Tripician

By Joe Tripician

Extraterrestrials evidently have seeped into our recognition. ultimately, in a hilarious send-up of self-help manuals, Emmy Award-winning writer Joe Tripician fearlessly tackles the full spectrumaliens, UFOs, real believers, executive deceptions and different issues paranormal. Peppered with evidence, conspiracies, opinion, and occasions too excellent to not be made up (but aren't).

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In search of financially well-endowed married AM who would love to abduct this nineteen-year-old SF with large chest, long legs, and full, pouting lips. Call me and my friends, but first please mention that you are not a police officer. com/ Voluptuous DAAF, forty-one, with two AA kids seeking S or DM (A or AA not important) who loves good food, fine wine, and earth-bound sports. Must own car, have large bank account, high cholesterol, and a weak hean. Slender, pretty, thirty-four-year-old SAAF who is URH looking for experienced and secure SAAM who is also URH.

Keep in mind that there are two basic types of talk-show audiences: 1) hostile nosepickers who have problems breeding outside of their own family (with this they have a lot in common with aliens); and 2) supportive and sincere creeps. The second type is almost worse: Smarmy and mealy-minded, they wallow in victim pity and expect you to love them for it. "Whether they mock you with open hostility, or overpower you with a passive-aggressive Telethon-inspired emotional mugging, remember that nonbelievers are really just frightened human beings, so treat their ignorant reactions to your plight with the patience it deserves-then pull out your Uzi and spray the bastards dead!!!

Post Office. Nestled securely in the heart of the alien mother ship, the Incubatorium is part high-tech hospital, part satanic fish farm. There is an operating table where the female abductee undergoes fetal extraction by two or three attending aliens. To make the mother more comfortable, a female handmaid (also an abductee) is usually present. ) 10 'fbe omcial Allen Abclucke'. com/ The aliens remove the fetus by placing between your legs a mechanical device that looks like a silver waterpick, but feels like a cast-iron vacuum cleaner.

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